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The Almost-Dictionary


The almost-unabridged Almost-Dictionary

Version: 0.987654321 (almost-one)



Almost-adult: Someone old enough to think adult thoughts, but not old enough to be trusted to almost-always think adult thoughts.

Almost-art: An object that possesses almost-enough artistic qualities to be called art.

Almost-aspect: An almost-aspect is an almost-coherent and almost-complete description of some almost-thing. There is almost-always more than one side to an almost-aspect. There is almost-always yet another almost-aspect to discover. Almost-aspects overlap with aspects (to a large degree). Almost-aspects have edges, just like aspects have edges. The edges are sometimes the most interesting parts, especially if they too have almost-aspects.

Almost-athletic: The state of being not quite athletic.

Almost-attended: Someone that you expected to attend your meeting or party did not attend. (Perhaps they had a flat tire, or became ill, or had a more urgent engagement.)

Almost-babies: Abortees; or grown men that cry like the dickens when she says she's not going to abort.

Almost-beautiful: Not quite beautiful.

Almost-bilked: Almost-everything you got for Xmas you either didn't want or already had.

Almost-Champagne: Sparkling wine from somewhere else (like California).

Almost-colorless: A light pastel color.

Almost-compatible: Not quite compatible.

Almost-creep: Almost-words, almost-stuff, and everything related to Almost-World that will steadily pervade other worlds. (Incidentally, there is no stopping almost-creep once it gets started.)

Almost-dictionary: A collection of almost-words arranged in alphabetical order, with almost-meanings associated.

Almost-different: An egalitarian fantasy or nightmare, depending on which aspect one considers.

Almost-dispassionate: Somewhere between passionate and dispassionate. (This would be a great name for a perfume.)

Almost-documented: When a product or service is documented to the extent that all legal requirements are met, but not to the extent that you can easily find what you need to know.

Almost-electable: Not quite electable (and that could be for one of several reasons that we donít need to get into here).

Almost-employee: Almost-employees (contractors, part-time help) are usually the almost-perfect solution for the typical business.

Almost-engaged: People go through the early stages of a relationship rather quickly, and then go through a protracted period of almost-engagement before finally getting engaged.

Almost-everyone: Over fifty percent but under a hundred percent of a population.

Almost-example: An example that almost nobody understands.

Almost-faith: Faith or belief in something unproven only to the extent that one's life is almost-unimpacted by that faith or belief.

Almost-finished: Something not quite done or finished. (E.g. Schubert's Almost-finished Symphony.)

Almost-forgot: Someone forgets something until the last minute, and then remembers. The delay in remembering may or may not be noticed by someone else; but if it is, that is almost-always almost-embarrassing for the party of the first part.

Almost-fun: Something is detracting from the fun.

Almost-garbage: One person's garbage is another person's almost-garbage.

Almost-happy: Something is detracting from the happiness.

Almost-hurricane: A tropical storm.

Almost-inconceivable: Strangeness that is not quite inconceivable.

Almost-inhuman: Lacking in some amount of pity, quite savage, or fairly nonconformist.

Almost-innocent: Not guilty enough to go to jail.

Almost-island: A peninsula. A grounding reef that is just below the surface of the water.

Almost-jungle: Woods, forest, a large treed backyard.

Almost-junk: See almost-garbage.

Almost-keep: If someone only lends something to you then you can only ever almost-keep it.

Almost-lecture: Almost-formal instructions given in an informal setting.

Almost-listening: Ah, . . . What?

Almost-mother: A stepmother. An aunt. A nanny. A babysitter known really well by the family. A significantly more mature sister.

Almost-mug: A mug with an almost-saying on it (that might be for sale now at

Almost-need: Want.

Almost-news: A message that does not sufficiently inform.

Almost-office: An inadequate office.

Almost-old: Middle-aged.

Almost-penitent: Regretful to the extent that one has been caught.

Almost-penult: Almost the next to last in a series.

Almost-perfect: High quality.

Almost-pissed: Just barely angry.

Almost-polluted: Someplace not polluted enough.

Almost-poverty: Still able to afford sales tax and lottery ticket purchases.

Almost-prepared: I ah, well, I think what this means is that one could have thought about it more.

Almost-quality: Lacking excellence, inadequacy, or deficiency.

Almost-refined: You can dress them up, but you can't take them out.

Almost-reliable: Likely to let you down at just the wrong time.

Almost-retired: Still working at a sinecure; or, more likely, slaving away at part-time wages.

Almost-shirt: A shirt with an almost-saying on it (that might be for sale now at

Almost-synonym: A near-synonym, or cognate.

Almost-travel: The next best thing to being there.

Almost-universe: An out-of-this-world place where Almost-Worlds thrive.

Almost-vertical: Leaning.

Almost-war: Any serious dispute other than an all-out war.

Almost-words: Words that are found in and that are appropriate in a semantic almost-space, an almost-world, and an almost-context.

"Almost-Worlds": The "Almost-Worlds" theory of the Universe was first proposed by Max Buzzell, of Almost-University, Almostville, FL. It is akin to Hugh Everett's "Many-Worlds" theory except that each world is not quite complete: Each of the worlds in the Almost-World's multiverse are an Almost-World unto themselves, . . . almost; hence, the name of the theory.

Almost-Xmas: Any celebration held on December 25th that is not totally to your liking.

Almost-yes: Maybe.

Almost-zirconia: An less-expensive alternative to cubic-zirconia (that synthetic gemstone of zirconia resembling a diamond).

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