The Almost-Speeches
Almost-speeches are speeches that are almost-given (away) and are almost-important enough to record:
The 2008 AP - The Almost-Competition
By: Max Buzzell
Date: 2008-02-29
Addressing a mob at a shopping mall. There was a car accident near the Sears, and there were quite a few people standing about.
. . . calm down everybody! It's not the end of the world, you know.
Let me just tell you a bit about what is almost-important:
You know Ron Paul is only going to almost-win the election. There are still signs up all over the place, but while he has made a few points and and has gained in name recognition, he is probably going to be sunning himself somewhere come election day, if you know what I mean. . . .
The is such a things as "almost-running," and it's actually much less taxing on the ol' system. For example, I just happen to be almost-running this year. Actually, I'm only jogging, and sometimes not even that . . . when I'm in a store shopping, . . . or, like this morning, when I was just raking leaves. Or a couple of nights ago when one of the debates was on television.
But, "who is going to almost-win," I maintain, is almost as important as "who is going to win." And that is almost as hotly contested as the real election.
The two traditional parties have their own "almost-winners" all lined up. You know them only too well. And now, I find myself in the almost-awkward position of trying to distinguish my positions from their almost-equally "almost" ones.
And then, before the police arrived, Buzzell whipped out a plasticized cardboard chart that looked remarkably similar to this one, showing where he almost-stands on many of the almost-issues:
