Almost-Engaged (example ceremony):
< Click here to go back to the Almost-Engaged page. >
Please review the wording before actually going through the ceremony, just in case there is something you would like to change first. There are so many different ways to do this, and this is only one way. (If there is just the two of you present, you can decide which one of you is going to read the "Master of Ceremonies" part.)
Master of ceremonies (to all present): Unlike getting engaged, nobody has to spend a lot of money just to get almost-engaged. And unlike getting married, you don’t need to gather and feed a great crowd, or even get dressed up.
Get used to the informality of it all. Unlike both getting engaged and getting married (where these things are frowned upon), you may get "almost-engaged" after having a few drinks, or with zero commitment, and/or completely unadvisedly. Why? This is not a "legal" ceremony. It’s that simple. After this ceremony, your driver's licence, bank accounts, insurances, etc., can stay just as they are.
Master of ceremonies (to the couple): You have the right to remain silent. You already know that anything you say can and will be used against you at the worst possible moment, especially if you're the guy. And if you’re the girl, you already know that you can change your mind on the slightest whim, so no worries for you at all, . . . ever.
Therefore, if you want to go through with your almost-engagement now, both, please read the following after me:
Repeat together: We had nothing better to do today other than gather here now to almost-join this man <he says me, she says you> and this woman <she says me, he says you> in some kind of socially overt way. We hereby get almost-engaged now, no matter what the marital status of each is presently, and no matter who objects, just because we kinda like each other.
It is more than a hunch that we should be together, but who knows what’s going to happen down the road. One of our employers could request that we move to another city, and that could separate us for good. We’d probably find other people. Who knows.
So here almost-goes a few words:
I, <state your name> almost-take you <state the other person’s name> to be almost-engaged to; in fairly good times, and maybe even in quite bad times when we have to scrounge around more; when we both have health insurance, or even when just one of us does; and I will probably continue to like you quite a bit if you never go so far as to piss me off, or ignore me, or let yourself go, or become a chain-smoking drug addict. You get the picture? <point at each other> Yes.
Master of ceremonies (smile): Ok, I guess. You may kiss each other, if that’s what you want to do. No pressure, though.
<the couple will probably kiss>
Master of Ceremonies: And that’s it. I see you have already bought "almost-engaged" shirts
<the couple will probably now don the shirts and find that they fit>
Examples of possible gifts (from the store):
That's it.
You are now almost-officially almost-engaged.
< Click here to go back to the Almost-Engaged page. >
